Dirty Talk
by Dajypop
Summary: Eames is sick of doing all of the work in their relationship and leaves one simple thing to Arthur.


**Title: Dirty Talk  
Author: Reno-Sinclair/Karma's On The Way  
Rating: T  
Word Count: 751  
Fandom: Inception  
Pairing/Character: Eames X Arthur  
Warnings: Stupid humor, implied smut, yaoi, also, I'm not sure what time era everything is in...so just roll with it, please? 3  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the stupidity that ensues in this fic.  
Summary: Eames is sick of doing all of the work in their relationship and leaves one simple thing to Arthur.**

AN: Just saw Inception with my boyfriend...and I have to say that I love the idea of Eames and Arthur together. I don't care if it isn't canon, it's canon to me because of the little things. 3 The cute things. 3 And...their relationship would just be too much fun to write. Anyway, here we go.

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**Dirty Talk**

"Do you know what I want to do to you right now, Darling?" Came the husky growl of a deep British accent.

"...stop grinding on my rear so I can finish cooking you dinner?" The reply was simple, in and of itself, but the tone it was said in was meant to deliver at least a little bit of bite.

"No...I wanna dump that chicken and pasta down your chest and lick it up-"

"That sounds awfully painful, it's still hot. Can't you control your raging hormones for ten minutes? You certainly aren't fourteen anymore, Eames. You can wait until after dinner."

"...you realize you're making it very hard for even an Adonis like myself to get anywhere near you to distract you from what you're doing, right?"

"Right."

"...did your parents never teach you to indulge someone when they got on your nerves instead of ignoring them?"

"We indulged Adolf Hitler and look at where that got us." This was going nowhere. Arthur was being far too snippy for his own good.

"Fine, then I want to see _you_ try it." This made the smaller male blink before turning his head to look at the older.

"Try _what_?"

"Dirty talking me. You've heard me do it countless times, let's see you try it."

"Alright..." Arthur turned around and made an odd face; it was odd to see anything but stoic, angry, and a mixture of suspicious and skeptical on his face. This...he seemed to honestly be thinking. What could be taking so long in that brain that always processed words lickity-split? Oh, but what Eames was expecting didn't seem to happen.

"Well, how about first I light up one of your cancer sticks and indulge you on your capnolagnia fetish, hm? And after that, perhaps I could fill your time with a little bit of CD, and perhaps even invite over a friend, so you could have your fun with both your candaulism and your cataphilistic ideations. We both know you don't suffer from endytophilia, but perhaps your erythrophilia could be addressed..."

Eames stood stock still, staring at the male before him as if he had a smaller, more rigid version of himself growing out of his ear. He had expected for Arthur to flounder and come up short, admitting defeat and simply give in to him... What he had gotten was a whole bunch of words thrown at him that confused his brain and left him wondering what the Hell had been said. Seeming to recognize this, Arthur's usual stoic, flat-lipped expression changed into a smug smirk.

"You have a fetish for smoking, and when I blush. You don't get aroused ONLY from clothed people, and you have asked me countless times to put on some womanly outfit or another to please you. You always seem to think it would be 'sexy' to watch me have sex with someone else, so I was thinking we could invite Adriadne over and you could even fill your need to watch me be dominated by a woman. And 'ideations' is a large word for 'forming an idea'." Oh, how smug he looked. He wanted to wipe that look off his face and prove to him, once and for all, that this wasn't where he had meant to go with this experience. "And you can't tell me you don't like the last one; the last time we were in a dream, you tried to completely dominate me as some blonde bimbo. And let me tell you, you need to work on your eyebrows..."

That was it. Suddenly, Arthur was hefted over his lover's shoulders and carried out of the kitchen; his precious chicken and pasta left with the lid on and the heat off. While he wiggled and writhed, the smaller male didn't make too much noise as he was being carted off, which seemed to throw Eames off a little. Without thinking, he plunged his free hand into his pocket and felt the weight of his poker chip, easing it over in his hand. This most certainly wasn't a dream...was it?

It couldn't be, not with how much that satisfied smirk resting on Arthur's face made him twitch somewhere down below.

Once he was on the bed, it was made clear this had been part of his plan.

"My dirty talk was a lot more effective than you thought, eh, Eames?"

"...just shut up, Arthur." And his lover was on him in seconds, doing just that; shutting him up.

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AN: Well...there's the second piece of Inception fanfic. I'm really loving this pair. The dynamic is nice...3


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